I am FINALLY a day time person... sorta.

So after one solid year, I am finally a day time person!! I mean, I am able to wake up at around 9 AM by alarm clock, or even myself! After last week's self training, late to work and classes, even my boss has not been happy with me... I sleep at around 4am and wake up at 9am. I would feel really tired around noon but as soon as it pass 3pm, I would feel fine again and be able to attend classes and study after classes. This is awesome :) very awesome! good start in 2010.

BTW, I'm so closed to moving out of chinatown. That means I will achieve another new year resolution! Talked with my mama and worked out a deal. If my grades are up to 70% at the next eco100 midterm(which is 2 weeks, and i've been working on it) and math quiz, she will increase my budget and I will be moving out of chinatown! I'm currently seeing College Park Suites and Pantages Hotel. They are both really nice. I would like to live in Pantages Hotel but there is no patio, in the other had, College Park Suites has a bigger bachelor with a large patio and cheaper price... and closer to school. Pantages Hotel would be nice tho.. The bachelor condo is above Pantages Hotel but it is separated from the Hotel itself, should be really nice.

The Motivation For Me Is...

....'em fuckers telling me what I could not be.

fuck off.

Happy New Year With Happy New Year Resolutions

I stopped making new year resolutions for a while now, something like 4 years, because I realized I only achieved approximately half of my resolutions. But!! I did not make anything happen in those 4 years of no-resolution, so I just realized, in my shower, that I might as well start making my new year resolutions because achieving half of resolutions is better than no achieving anything at all.

So here it goes...

1) become a professional DJ, in the other word, make my name a bit bigger than it is right now. (this gotta happen in 2010!)

2) find a part-time job as a DJ wether in a club or stores, etc.

3) Create a DJ name suitable to me as this career goes..

4) Save more than $5,000

(I invested all my savings into my DJ equipments so now I'm starting with $0.. but good thing it's only January and I saved $1,400 so far.. from red pocket money and working)

5) STAY IN UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO

6) score perfect on either a quiz, a midterm, or a final

(this is optional I suppose... but try anyway)

7) No more major failures in my academic life

8) Do not find myself anymore bullshit. altho they did make me stronger.

9) No more animal dying in front of my eyes

10) Donate or be a volunteer of something, and I gotta try my best to find extra time and money

11) Convince my dad to buy me a condo........ (write a speech, a very convincing speech, get it done before I turn 20, and say it to him!)

12) Fix my car (this is probably not going to happen... ICBC insurance estimated the cost to fix my car is around $4,000. But whatever, try anyways.)

13) Do research on starting my own business with dad

14) Do research on real estate in Toronto, so I can... (see #11)(so get it done before I turn 20...)

15) Bring my brother to do volunteering for rescuing animals or cancer kids, either one.

16) Make sure my brother is doing volunteering on his own in a hospital, otherwise I am granted by myself to kick his ass. (I know I just put my brother on 2 of my resolutions but his goal is to get into med school but he doesn't know how hard it is, and he's a very weak boy... like I said, bullshit is blocked by my mom but she's only 1 person and there are 2 people: my brother and I)

17) Do better time management, in the other word, no more weird sleeping patterns.

18) this is going to be on the list of my future new year resolutions too... but, one day, I want to be able to say "Pappa I did it too!" while I look at my career.

19) Finally... move out of chinatown. Find a better place (on my own by myself would be extra nice, but if dad is convinced to buy me a condo.... I don't mind either).

hmm.. I should have 1 more to make it 20..

20) Fit "working out" and "practicing DJ" into my daily/weekly schedule along with "school", "study", and "work". In the other word, make this 5 things to be a daily/weekly routine

21) Find more time to call Grandpa, possibly the best man in this world.

screw making it to 20.. imma gonna make it to 25.. I got 12 months to achieve them, might as well make more.

22) Buy a new snowboard, or a just wax because I love my snowboard but it's cracking everywhere and scratching everywhere too...

23) Buy lotion, I made this because I can achieve this by tomorrow so I feel positive about my new year resolution, and that my skin is so dry it's cracking.

Did you make your resolution yet?

DONE AND DRUNK (TIPSY..)

I know that I've been "done" (with school) for a while now but I just DRANK....

So whenever I'm drunk or tipsy (is that even how u spell it?), I think more randomly, more creatively, or more weird. I was at a bar and drinking myself because I decided it to do that on my own... the sports channel was on and that's also why I went to drink by myself. I watched basketball, football, and soccer. And I just... dislike my life so much more. I mean, I know that I have to make peace with the certain ability and limited power that my body is given, but I WANT TO PLAY BASKETBALL OR SOCCER OR EVEN FOOTBALL for my life. I found myself lack of talent and heart in school but I had my heart 99% on basketball and soccer. The other 1% is that I don't believe in myself because I'm this tiny little asian girl. I look at those players and I see their passion. I HAVE the kind of passion for basketball, but it just seems like this life-time and society and parents don't allow me to pursued in this field.

Ylber and one of my aunt (and i think even my dad) said to me that if I don't have my heart at school then just drop out or even take (a) year(s) of breaks...

All I want to do for my live is to play sports, professionally. I JUST want to do that. So badly...

Vancouver Is Working

I'm back in vancouver, tryna clear my mind and put my shit back together. I will be ready with a better attitude for next semester. I will do better. As soon as my body realized that I was done exams, the following day, I got sick. I wasn't sick for the whole semester, or since this April. I was really proud of myself. Anyways, I'm a little better now. Not as upset as I was in toronto during the exams and after the exams. Vancouver is working. And I just did a 2,000 words essay on calculus for an extra-credit assignment for MAT157, I was in the library for 7 hours, no getting up and no internet. Again, proud. So to reward myself, I'M GOING SNOWBOARDING TMR! STROKEd!!

p.s. I didn't get on to my flight on wednesday because the flight was overbooked by 10% and I was one of that 10%. So I waited, stand by, till 8:10pm and luckily I was the last person to get on to the flight. For the time I waited, Air Canada gave me ten bucks for dinner at the airport, which I got myself a yummy cheese cake, and 200 bucks for the future flight. It's awesome.

Here is a song that I discovered today, one of the greatest collaborations

Lil wayne feat Eminem - Drop the World

(Lil Wayne)
I got ice in my veins,

blood in my eyes
Hate in my heart,

love in my mind
I seen nights full of pain,

days of the same
You keep the sunshine,

save me the rain
I search but never find,

hurt but never cry
I work and forever try,

but Im cursed so nevermind
And its worse,

but better times

seem further and beyond
The top gets higher, the more that I climb
The spot gets smaller, and I get bigger
Tryna get into where I fit in,

no room for a nigga
But soon for a nigga it be on, mufucka
Cause all the bullshit, it made me strong, mufucka

So I pick the world up and Ima drop it on your fuckin head
Bitch, Ima pick the world up and Ima drop it on your fuckin head
And I could die now, Rebirth motherfucker
Hop up in my spaceship and leave Earth, motherfucker
Im gone
Motherfucker, Im gone

I know what they dont wanna tell you
Just hope youre heaven-sent, and youre hell-proof
I-I walk up in the world and cut the lights off
And confidence is the stain they cant wipe off
Huh, my word is my pride
But wisdom is bleak, and thats a word from the wise
Serve to survive, murdered and bribed
And when it got too heavy I put my burdens aside

So I could pick the world up and Ima drop it on your fuckin head
Bitch, Ima pick the world up and Ima drop it on your fuckin head
And I could die now, Rebirth motherfucker
Hop up in my spaceship and leave Earth, motherfucker
Im gone
Motherfucker, Im gone (Im gone)

(eminem)

it hurts but never show
its pain youll never know
if only you can see just how lonely and how cold
and frostbit i’ve become
my back’s against the wall
when push come to shove
i just stand up and scream f*ck em all
man it feels like these walls are closing in, this roof is caving in,
oop its time to raise it then
your days are numbered like pages in my book of rhymes got em cookem boy
this crooked mind of mine got em all shook and scared to look in my eyes,
I stole that f*ckin clock, i took the time and i came up from behind
and pretty much snuck up and butt f-cked this game up
better be careful when you bring my name up f*ck this fame
that aint what i came to claim, but the game aint gonna be the same
on the day that i leave it
I swear one way or another i’ma make these f-ckin haters believe it,
I swear to God wont spear the rod, i’m a man of my word
so your f*ckin heads better nod
im gonna f*ck around in this bitch and roast everybody
sleep on me that pillow is where your head will lie, permanently bi*ch it’s beddy-bye,
this world is my easter egg, yeah, prepare to die’
my head is swoll
my confidence is up
this stage is my pedastal
im unstoppable the incredible hulk
your trapped in my medicine ball
I can run circles around you so fast your f*ckin head will spin dog,
I’ll split your cabbage and your lettuce and olives, I’ll f-ckin

It's the Time of the Year Agian

Do you know that december has the highest suicide rate in a year?

Yup, because not every one likes christmas, not everyone is happy that it's christmas, not everyone did well in school, and certainly not everyone has enough money and has a good year. Sure, not everyone has a good mother, and face it, it's end of the year.

I absolutely HATE winter. I only like about winter is that I get to snowboarding.

I'm not emo, I promise you that, it's just I hate about the holiday spirit. It's not in my life, and when it is, it's fake.

So, fuck the christmas songs.

Correction: I used to enjoy winter and the snow when Leo was around. We used to play in the snow together, good times.

This Semester's Mistakes

I took the wrong courses, which I ended up dropping them, which leaded to lack of studying on other courses, which ended up failing one, which ended $2,000 gone and no returns. But I learned that I'll never put myself into similar situation anymore and that I'll learn my limited ability to do what and what not to do, because 5 course load is a shit load, with 2 300-series language courses.

So next semester, I'll start going to library way before exams starts, I'll keep up to all my works everyday, I'll get all the past tests and read them over way before, and I'll not get lazy. So next semester I'll not disappoint myself and my mother's money, since mostly it seems like time and money are all she cares about.

p.s. if other cats, pigeons, or squirrels can survive the winters, then my cat can do. at least I hope she can.